A letter to 20’s something self on my 30th Birthday

To my younger self:

You may not recognize me with these glasses on and a few extra wrinkles around my eyes.  And, yeah my boobs have totally gone south after nursing two children…I know I’m working on it!  But there’s nothing to be ashamed of here; these lines are from years of laughter and the little extra skin on my belly is a badge of motherhood I wear proudly… ok so I’m not exactly proud of it but this body went through an incredible transformation and created life…twice… so yeah, I really don’t mind!!

You are blessed.

Slow down and look around to realize how lucky and fortunate you are to have your health, a nice home, a wonderful husband, and two adorable children… yes you have TWO kids- a boy and a girl!  You are rich enough…don’t get caught up in wanting more.

Mom was/is right.

That’s right!  I just said it.  Turns out she really did know what she was talking about the whole time.  You won’t realize it until you have a daughter of your own, but having her there for you throughout those rough first days/weeks/months will help you realize just how wonderful she truly is and how much you really do LOVE her.  You’ll feel guilty and pray for her forgiveness for being such a turd as a teenager.

Wanting to have it all figured out and actually having it all figured out are not the same things.

Some lessons just have to be learned.  You will learn from your mistakes.  It’s okay to fail.  It’s okay to mess up.  Keep your chin up and keep pushing forward.  You will learn something new every. single. day.  Life goes on and you will too.

Stop caring about other people’s opinions.

Seriously!  Just stop!  You don’t have to hide or make excuses just because you’re afraid of how people will react.  Their opinion doesn’t matter in the long run and conforming to their expectations will only make you unhappy.  Do it for yourself.  Wear makeup for yourself.  Shave your legs for yourself…. or don’t shave… the choice is yours!

Spend as much time with your family as possible.

You are so, so lucky to still have all four of your Grandparents with you.  Go see them as often as you can.  Their health will deteriorate quicker than you think.  Just because you know you love and care for someone, does not mean they know.  Actions speak louder than words, so if its’ been a while, just give them a call and let them know.  They may not be here tomorrow.

Mom and Dad really have your best interest at heart.

All those times you got grounded and the strict curfews were done out of love.  Boundaries and rules are a sign of good parenting… you’ll learn that also when you become a parent.

You’ll get over it.

Yes, you’ll get your heart broken.  Unfortunately, you’ll lose a lot of self-esteem and self-confidence and feel used and cheated and confused.  You’ll cry… a lot.  But then you’ll look back and laugh for letting yourself ever feel that way.  You’ll survive and life will be better because of it!  You will meet a tall dark and handsome man who loves you and takes replaces all that pain with LOVE! So. Much. Love!

The mirror is not your enemy.

You are beautiful just the way you are.  Your appearance makes you who you are.  Yes, there will always be something you wish you could change, but you can’t and you have to accept it and realize it is what makes you, YOU.  But beauty isn’t just skin deep!  It’s what’s inside that matters most.  Inner beauty outlives physical beauty every time.  Grandma Ervie was right when she said, “Pretty is, as pretty does!”

It’s ok to say, “No”.

There’s a difference between being nice and letting people take advantage of you.  I know you always try to see the best in people and do the most to help them out, but sometimes, this will only hurt your more than it will make you feel good.  It’s ok to help people, but think twice before you say, “yes” when the situation is beyond what you are capable of.

Learn to let things go.

Stop holding on to anger and other negative emotions- they do more harm than good and it will eat you up.  Let go of grudges- it’s not productive and it will only make you feel terrible.  Forgive and forget.

God is GOOD!

God wants you to do His will in His way in His timing.  His timing may not be on your terms but He is there, with you, every step of the way.  You don’t know the outcome of your life’s journey, but God knows.  Put your faith in Him.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be!





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